Quality over quantity.
The human species is interconnected, fastly multiplying, an enormous group of creatures who are determined to make this planet theirs. I being one of those creatures, have met many others of the same species throughout my twenty-one years in existence. Just like the theme of this blog has the wires and dots moving around and connecting to one another, human beings do precisely that. The difference is that we perceive that people stick around longer than those dots are connected.
Fortunately, our concept of time is of our imagination, meaning that how we perceive the world is up to us individually. With this in mind, we create our realities. For years, I assumed that the whole world ostracized me, was annoyed by me, and wanted nothing to do with me. I saw this and heard this from others, so what happened? Exactly that. I believed that I was isolated, and so it was true. I have since learned that whatever we believe in becomes our reality, and thus changed how I choose to look at the world.
This has come about through many various ways over the course of several years, and as this journey continues, I shall let out snippets here and there. One facet of being human is that we trust those closest to us with more information than those who are complete strangers. As much as I would love to say every single thought and feeling I have, selectivity with what I say is important. People, unfortunately, take advantage of people’s honesty, or the wrong message is conveyed, and confusion strikes.
With that being said, being transparent about who you that life is so much easier. The more you lie and hide from others, the more you do from yourself. This determines the quality of person you are, and how others view you, let alone how you view yourself. The more lies you told yourself, the more twisted and lost you become, hiding your true self through a substance, addiction, and surrounding yourself with similar people.
I would much rather have five extremely close friends than a hundred kind of friends. I am more grateful for the thirty to forty followers who are following and a part of this journey than the people who come and go. This gratitude is not to be confused; I appreciate every like, follow, message, comment, and perspective, as I would love it if the entire planet were connected without war, hostility, or anger. As for now, we must work with what we have. Saving some tricks for later is good.
I learned by listening to Tim Ferriss that it is “better to have a thousand die-hard fans than to have a hundred thousand sorta fans. These one thousand are the best advertising you will ever have.” Of course, the purpose of this blog is not to advertise myself, but to share my feelings and experiences with the world, in the hope that people are benefiting and deriving value. From the looks of Instagram, it seems that these words are helping others if it is only for a moment.
There is a fine line between caring and helping.
Many people in our lives tend to think that they are helping more often than they are. The same goes for me. I sometimes think that what I am writing about helps a lot more than it does. Maybe I’m right, perhaps not. Either way, there comes the point where we need to balance. Whether it be with how much we say, how much advice we take, or how much we do, it is essential that we do not overdo or overuse anything. With that being said, when you make a decision, go full force into it. Don’t half-ass anything you do.
Some of the people we encounter stay for the entirety of our lives, and others stick around for just a little while. Some of us teach us a bounty of lessons in a week, and others show us one lesson in a lifetime. Every species, every creature is hardwired to reproduce. Whether this is humans, antelopes, roses, ladybugs, lions mane mushrooms, or the E.Coli virus, the whole goal of everything is to make more of itself. Here is where survival of the fittest comes in.
Humans have a logical and calculatory cerebrum, can think ahead and determine (mostly) what will be the consequences of our actions. The part of us that contradicts this is our primal and reptilian brain, which is responsible for our instincts and emotional desires. This circuitry often overrides our rational processing, which means that we act on emotion instead of what will work for what we are trying to accomplish. In cases such a high-pressure situation, it is highly valuable to be in control of both of these systems.
Those who try to help us directly (such as family and close friends, people who are emotionally invested in us) often tell us how to solve our problems. They directly tell us what to do, how to do it, and even how to feel. When someone close to us is emotionally invested, they are often speaking with their emotions, instead of looking at the situation objectively. This is not to say that their feelings are wrong, but messages are conveyed most efficiently when you meet people where they are, rather than expect them to be where you’re at.
With this being said, we help people the best when we can step in their shoes from an outside perspective, rather than getting in their face and telling them what they’re doing wrong. This is a tricky paradox, but it is much easier done than said. Talking about it means logically processing it through listening and understanding. Doing it means empathizing, looking over your own past experiences, and giving advice where you see fit, calmly. People are a lot more likely to take your advice when
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The golden rule stands the test of time: treat others how you would like to be treated. Taking that one step further, you can only edify yourself so much. This means that you need other human beings in your life, at least for the first decade or so. I am not sure if there are any cases of people living completely alone for more than a couple of decades, and if there was, how would we know about them, unless they told other humans about it?
While there is a fine line between having others in your life and having your privacy, we feed off of each other. This can be represented in the sense of an infant and mother, as well as a metaphorical sense of learning from each other’s mistakes. Although many of us dislike this aspect of life, we learn the most from losing. When we succeed at something, all we know is to keep doing what we did that got us there.
This is where we trip up, thinking that we can do the same thing that made us happy indefinitely. In the macro this works, (such as always being kind) but there are a million details on how to expand on that one principle. How do we learn new ways to implement principles such as being patient, kind, loving, or a hard worker? Surround yourself with people who you wish to become.
We all absorb a little bit of each other’s personality. “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and the books you read.” If you like the way someone lives their life, get around them. If you are tired of the situation you are currently in, change it by changing your actions, your perspective, or the people you associate with and get advice from.
Learn from everything in every moment, but be aware that not all advice given to you will get you where you want to go. Be kind to all, but be selective about who you share your time with. Regardless of who you encounter today, share a smile with them, as it only takes a moment.