Christopher Canady/ April 19, 2017/ Uncategorized/ 2 comments

Everything happening outside of your body is out of your control. 

Why are you worried about it? There are an infinite number of challenges that we can step up to, but when we become frustrated, that is our doing, not the challenge. Although it is quite common to believe that external events or scenarios caused our feelings to happen, (and it is a choice to believe that) taking responsibility for ourselves is a path in which I find much more fulfilling. Our feelings are exactly that, ours. If we are offended by what someone else said, that is our choice. Likewise, if we smile because of what someone else said, that is also our choice. Why not choose to smile?

As we grow, we slowly and readily absorb every bit of information around us. Every piece of data that we take in through our senses adds to our personal and collective memory tank. Every behavior, movement, sound, emotion, and way of action we see in our environment is a representation of who we will be. From the very beginning, we build our character and attitude from what we have stored. The key here is that we have free will, we can choose to be whoever we want. Why do we have frustrating situations then?

Inside each of us is a seed of doubt, and when honed, can grow our abilities exponentially.

While frustration, fear, doubt, and many other “negatives” are a part of us, they are to be used as tools to help us remain and spread the positive. Each of us has a unique journey, with our own obstacles that we must overcome. For thousands of years people all over the world have understood that our minds, your individual life is completely in your control. For more on this, see here. In the past couple centuries, or so the history books say, we have gotten away from our intuition, and have developed a strong intellect. This jump in brain activity has created a highly interactive and agile world.

Although we have become extremely intelligent as a species, we have in some places lost a part of ourselves. The ability to empathize, to place ourselves in another’s shoes, and understand what others are thinking and feeling has become difficult for all of us. We can say that this has developed in just the past few hundred years, but it has been a genetic evolution for thousands. Our diets, habits, and interaction and level of symbiosis with our environment has brought us where we are today.

We are interconnected to everything around us, and being aware of our actions will keep us in tune.

It is difficult to be calm and collected when others around us are upset or behaving irrationally. When we are aware of our own actions, regardless of what others are doing, we begin to practice being mindful.  Any reason to put yourself or others down, are steps in a deceptive and unfulfilling direction. Criticism is very useful and helpful, but be sure to be aware of what you are saying. Our voice, our thoughts and which ones we choose to sow into the garden of conversation creates the universe we inhabit. So how then do we act in a situation of high-strung emotions and behaviors?

Life is a maze of contradictions, and every interaction with anything is both predictable and completely unexpected. Predictable in that we know that something will happen, and that something could be uniquely new. Words like “unexpected”, “unforeseeable”, and “unique” all use a prefix meaning “not” to describe what has yet to happen.  Trusting what is happening at any moment is how we handle what is happening. Each moment, life is presenting us with a challenge-to grow upward and outward, or shrink down into anxiety and worry. While we are constantly guided and shown where to go next in order to achieve our dreams, it is a choice to listen.

We are said to be the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with, and when you stop and evaluate your life, this seems to be nothing but true. If we are surrounded by those who see every negative thing 10 miles down the road, we will have the same perspective. Human beings are malleable, and we shape ourselves to our environments until we begin to be aware of ourselves. Once we become aware of this, we must in return shape our environment into the positive we wish to see. There is a well known quote that attributes to this, which says “Be the change you wish to see in the world”.

In spite of any negatives you perceive, or what others are doing, there is always an underlying lesson.

Each moment is a chance to grow, to learn something new, to become a better person than you were a second ago. Anyone can talk about what they wish to see, what they want to accomplish. Results come from doing, acting upon our desires is the only way they will come true. There is always a choice between positive and negative, and it is very real. At any moment, we can choose to do something drastic and destructive, or uplifting and advantageous. When interacting with those that are in the dark, remember that they too have equal opportunity to make the most of life, even if at the current moment they are distressed. Smile, talk carefully and slowly, and always ask yourself what you can say or do right now to benefit all around you.

Your mind, your body, and life itself is a marvelous structure, always providing the answer to every stressful situation. All one must do is ask and be patient. Asking in a frustrating manner will give a frustrating answer. Whatever emotion we act upon, we are given in return that emotion. We can change the frequency of our emotions at any second, despite what is happening. This is not to say that we must avoid negatives, for they are just as important as the positives. Life is a balance between both, and being able to understand the ups and downs ride without fear is crucial to a fulfilling life.

What is going on outside of us is beyond our control, and yet everything we desire is already within us. The saying “you reap what you sow” is a perfect analogy for this. While we have tempting thoughts and events all around us, our life is up to us. You yourself decide what is right for you and what is not. While there are many disagreements here, the universe is full of choices, and we must accept others, regardless of what they may be. I may not enjoy ESPN or going to the bar, as others may not enjoy reading books or camping.

There is a distinction between accepting and adopting others practices. Focus on yourself, and those around you. We cannot change that which we do not control, only how we respond to the environment we have been given. Make the most of your life, take responsibility of your thoughts and feelings, and create the life you wish to see. Treat others how you would like to be treated and the universe will not let you down.

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  1. I really enjoyed your article. It is so true that we have lost touch with the part of ourselves that innately knows how to deal with stress and pressure of everyday life. We anesthetize ourselves with alcohol and drugs because we somehow don’t believe that we have what it takes within ourselves to handle our lives. I love a quote I heard recently, “You can’t control what happens to you but, you can control your response”. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and passion for this subject.

    1. That quote is very true, and when we drug ourselves in order to run away from what we cannot control, we end up having a less controlled response. I really like that. Thank you for sharing that quote!

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